The Outsider In His Own Home Country February 17, 2009
Posted by Psi in Slice of Life, Travel.Tags: Gaijin, Outcast, Outsider, Xenophobia
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Going back to your roots, to where it all began, the feeling of xenophobia and paranoia slowly but surely begins to wrap its grasp all around. It’s a really unique feeling, and not a good one at that…the sense of not knowing who you really are nationally and culturally… how your ancestors came from that far away land and how you connect with it, but when you finally make it there, you are looked at differently. Even if you have that pure relation of blood; the way you talk and gesture is constantly observed, while the cold stares of some gives you that cold sweat, sharply hacking away at your back as you try to shrug it off. Maybe I’m overplaying this…maybe it’s the paranoia talking…but everytime me and my family goes to the Philippines, this is what I’m constantly fighting inside of me when I walk into Metro Manila Airport.
After watching Monday’s new episode of Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations about the Philippines, I can easily relate to Augusto’s predicament. I’m a Filipino myself who was born outside of his home country, and have been taught to blend into another entirely different culture in order to fit in. Yet, after a while you begin to get curious of the culture your own family has come from. On that journey though, that fear of who you really are begins to surface: What are you really? An American? A Filipino? The wordplay of “Filipino American” instantly becomes a sort of mutation that can possibly label you a sort of outsider in one’s home country.
My own experiences within my own Filipino family have been, at the least, interesting. Looked upon as wealthy and better off, everytime we visit all of my cousins instantly come to me for entertainment on my X-Box, Gamecube and PlayStation 2. But at times, I’ve been asked a lot of questions as to why I act so differently than them. But it doesn’t stop at that, as instantly you begin hearing the conversations heard from your back on how you are so different from them. It’s something that can get to you on the inside. You can blend in because of the way you look, but once someone has their observing eye on you, they can instantly be all over you like a disguised spy in Team Fortress 2. At first, I try to ignore it, but after four straight years of going to the Philippines, it really starts to get on you.
Who am I really? Quite frankly, I am myself. You are who you want to be. Even if you’re constantly put under that magnifying glass, don’t let that compromise who you are. Although I plan to get into Japanese Animation and its culture, I still keep in heart of where I came from. Even though I was born in Michigan, I am still Filipino…no one can tell me otherwise.

Illusions of Peace (Gundam 00) January 13, 2009
Posted by Psi in Anime, Philosophical.Tags: Gundam 00, Humanity, War
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At what cost does Peace play when many Countries still manufacture weapons that harm humanity? Are they fatally flawed into thinking that Military Supremacy would protect the peace that currently holds, yet treaties are constantly rotting per generation…as technology advances and creates new ways that harms everyone. As soldiers blindly following orders from the Country, Mercenaries and PMCs All the while Controversy constantly sparks amongst the civilians, often powerless while watching helplessly as events unfold…all the while criticizing moves made by either party…yet those words doesn’t matter as war rages on, often giving birth to excuses of self-defense, intervention, annexation…Do we really live in such fragile times?
Honestly, I don’t care at all of politics, the economy, the media and all…too much tiny details that many try to comprehend, but get caught up in. But when I watch an anime that makes me question the society we live in these days, then it’s definitely one to watch in my books.
For those who don’t know, Gundam 00 takes place in the Anno Domini era, in which resources are becoming rare, and that the world now uses Orbital Elevators as their current source of energy. Three are currently made, each in use by a world power. Right then on you have:
- World Economic Union (US North & South, Japan, Australia) – Controls the South American Orbital Elevator.
- Advanced European Union – Controls the Orbital Elevator in Africa, which means they also control the country due to their military presence.
- Human Reform League (Eurasian Russia, China, Parts of South Asia, Southeast Asia, Korea, Taiwan, Papua New Guinea) – Controls the Orbital Elevator off the Coast of Australia.
Of course since they have complete control of the elevators and hereby the very source of all energy in the world, all other third world countries would attempt to make a sort of treaty with them, no? Yup, but unfortunately for the countries that have close to none to bargain with (in particular the Middle East due to Oil being near useless now), civil wars are fought, and to top it all, some even plan attacks near the elevators in a bid for control. This in turn, gives the Military to further their research into their
Enter Celestial Being, a Secretive Private Armed Organization that comes into play. Their goal is to eradicate war from the world…through the use of Armed Interventions in the world battles. Being run secretly by just a handful of people, this would would spell disaster in the “Eradicating War” plans if they didn’t have their aces: Gundams.
Gundams in this series are basically so advanced that it makes the Mobile Suits the World Powers use like little Transformer toys. As a result, if you didn’t guess, the World Powers are utilizing ways to capture them for their own research and furthering their own agendas.
Celestial Being thereby has a bit of dilemma in their hands…by attempting their Armed Interventions in order to eradicate war from the world, the problem is how the world looks upon them. Some see them as a bit of a contradiction…others embrace what they are doing. But the World Powers want their technology badly…does their goal of obtaining world peace already have a sort of taint around them?
Or is it a good bet that Peace is nothing more than an Illusion; There to be a sort of balance to reach, yet cannot be obtained? One thing is for sure, as I quote from a popular videogame franchise: “War…war never changes.”
One More Soul to the Call October 12, 2008
Posted by Psi in Horror, Japanese, Music, Philosophical, Psychological, Video games.Tags: Akira Yamaoka, Double Helix Games, Konami, Mary Elizabeth McGlynn, Silent Hill, Silent Hill: Homecoming
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Every Silent Hill game I played, I love. Yes, even Origins that was made by a Western Developer. But the one thing that stands out in every Silent Hill game is the Soundtrack. And Silent Hill: Homecoming delivers on it yet again. (Note: Around the time I write this, I have yet to play Homecoming, since I plan on getting the PC version via Steam. Unfortunately though, it is not yet released, and I’ve still yet to see what happens >.<)
Akira Yamaoka and Mary Elizabeth McGlynn does on outstanding job delivering the haunting tunes and vocals that many a Silent Hill fan can recognize and love. The song, “One More Soul to the Call”, though is more cryptic then any other SH song I’ve heard. And quite possibly, spoilerific to the plot behind Homecoming. Regardless though, this song is awesome, and I cannot wait to buy the Soundtrack!
One More Soul to the Call Lyrics
Enough…with lies…
Tell me one…more time…
My blood…your line…
Is this you…inside?…
Death…through the living…
A flame…has no living heart…
In the order…of life…
They know you there…
As you saw it, your plan…
A real shot in the dark…
Came a little…too late…
It’s over…
Calling…the children…
Tension…and dying…
Silence…but screaming!
Damage done to the flesh;
What they said in the name of the…
Damage done to the heart;
Is the start of the end…
Damage done to my soul;
I know…it knows where my…
Damage done to my life;
Cursing loud at the chaos…
You’re here…you’re gone…
It’s not fear…I’m lost…
Your God…your fear…
Was it worth…the price?…
Pray…for the children…
You lost…along the way…
Still remember…the names and faces…
Cold…and abandoned…
They cry…their fate put into your hands…
When it’s over…they come…
To haunt you…
Wasted…confusion…
Deadly…illusion…
Nightmare…intrusion!
One more soul to the call;
For all…in silence, comes
Two more souls to the call;
For all…and in time…
Three more souls to the call;
They fall…unknowing that
Four more souls to the call;
Won’t be all…and you know it.
Sacrifice…wasted life…
Destiny…redefined.
Someone…chooses you…
Lucky one…close your eyes…
Your family knows you’re here!
Calling…the children…
Tension…and dying…
Silence…but screaming!
Damage done to the flesh;
What they said in the name of the…
Damage done to the heart;
Is the start of the end…
Damage done to my soul;
I know…it knows where my…
Damage done to my life;
Cursing loud at the chaos.
One more soul to the call;
For all…in silence, comes
Two more souls to the call;
For all…and in time…
Three more souls to the call;
They fall…unknowing that
Four more souls to the call;
Won’t be all…and you know it.
In Memorium: Toonami (1997-2008) September 23, 2008
Posted by Psi in Anime.Tags: Toonami
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Now, this has just come as a complete shocker to me. Cartoon Network, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU FREAKING DOING.
First, Adult Swim has pushed the new Code Geass and Moribito episodes to the Graveyard Hours (5am). Yes, I pretty much threw a fit. Yes, I do have plans to raid the Williams Street Building with my Dark Energy Field Manipulator and fling people AROUND. And yes, I believe that the comedy section of [AS] is just plain freaking idiotic. But in time, I’ve cooled down somewhat though, since I now sleep as soon as the Bleach ep. is done, and being accustomed to continue watching Code Geass/Moribito when I wake up.
Aside from the [AS] Anime, I also watch Naruto, which is the only show I watch on Cartoon Network. Last week though, I didn’t know a special message was airing at around 10:30, since after watching the Naruto block, I just continue gaming until Bleach airs. So it happened to be coincidence that I saw a user video on the GameTrailers announcing Toonami’s final broadcast. At first, I thought it was just a user with the usual antic of making stuff up. But after watching the video, a part of me inside let out a howl of despair.
Wow Cartoon Network, way to destroy my childhood. And quite frankly, the list is adding up, with this even topping Nickelodeon Studios shutting down.
Well, it looks like I gotta continue my anime fix online now. With Toonami officially canceled (Loved it in its early days, even its recent iteration due to Naruto being the only show I watch in its broadcast), the night slot has just opened for me to be more flexible to view anime that is still Japan only (Hello, Soul Eater!).
But in regards, sorry Cartoon Network. You just lost a daytime viewer. What a depressing way to enter into my birthday week… >.>
R.I.P. Toonami (March 17, 1997 – September 20, 2008)
O, Not in cruelty, not in wrath.
The Reaper came today.
‘Twas an angel that visited this grey path,
And took Toonami away.
…The Cake CARTOON NETWORK IS A LIE.
Will Wright Speaks His Wisdom…about Care Bears. September 3, 2008
Posted by Psi in Video games.Tags: Care Bears, Will Wright, Will Wright Minute, X-Play
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The last time I heard about Care Bears was from World of WarCraft, and it was more used as an insult. But apparently, there’s more to it than that, as Will Wright (Creator of Sim City, The Sims and the upcoming Spore game.) shares his insight on the advanced mythology of the Care Bear Universe.
If his tibit does not give you at least a good chuckle, it’s the funny flash animation that accompanies it that will get you. XD
The Fatal Flaw That Which Binds Humanity… August 24, 2008
Posted by Psi in Anime, Philosophical, Slice of Life.Tags: Code Geass, Nationalism, Philosophy, Pride, War
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While seeing tonight’s episode of Code Geass on Adult Swim, I’ve been pondering around one of the main themes that no doubt dominates the series: Nationalism.
At one side, you have the Brittannian Empire. Their whole culture is based on the philosophy of having devotion to its country. You can see the pride literally dominating every aspect of culture in their occupation of Japan (or Area 11 as they call it.) But their more obvious flaw is that their devout stubbornness creates a “Superior Race” attitude. The majority of them believe that there is no one as equal as the Brittannian when compared to any other country. Even though World War II never existed in the Geass Universe, you can definitely compare the Brittannian’s Nationalistic Pride with that of The Third Reich. To put this quite frankly, the majority of Brittannians are damn egotistical.
On the other hand, the Japanese (Like hell I’ll call ‘em “Elevens”) are pretty much split apart. On one end, many choose to play the submissive type when the Brittannian Empire took control. Choosing to live in the Ghettos or serve Brittannians as servants, they basically want no harm done upon them. There are even some that joined up the Brittannian Military (i.e. Suzaku), and even signed up for Brittannian Citizen status (Of course, this is really monitored and restricted upon, due to the racial issue.) Even though each have their own reason (Suzaku using politics as a way to establish equal status between Brittannians and Japanese), it’s basically rolling with the punches.
Of course though, you have the Aggressive Japanese who cannot stand for having a foreign power transforming and destroying everything that makes their own culture unique, and all the while mocking at their so-called “inferior” being. As the Japanese look at one their own people have become (The “Submissive” group which is actually amplifying the racial tension between Brittannian and Japanese), the sense of pride takes over. Hence Underground Resistance Groups (formed from Citizens) forming and the Japanese Liberation Front (Formed from the fragments of the Japanese Military) opposing the Brittannian Empire in Japan.
So, when putting the puzzle pieces together we have…a war in which Nationalism fuels the fire of hate and death. But from that murky sea of stubborn attitudes, there are a couple of gems. And tonight’s ep. of Code Geass proves on one of them. (Episode 17)
Princess Euphemia, although brought up from Brittannian Loyalty, doesn’t have that snotty racial attitude that almost permeates through the Royal Family, and most of its population. She doesn’t care if you’re of Brittannian or Japanese blood, she’ll treat you as equal. During the Art Ceremony that she attended, she had an option to “crown” best painting; One which is painted by a “Pure blood” and is therefore superior, and one that is painted by a Brittannian with “a hint of Eleven Blood”, which is often mocked at. The tension that the audience brings as she struggles to choose presents that inner conflict: Will she cave into the demands of others and reward the pure blood, or will she take that stand against what others want, and award it to the underdog?
Fortunately for her, that tension eases out as Zero makes an attack to free Toudou from his execution. During which, Suzaku Kururugi is actively participating to prevent. But during the battle, his cover is blown; exposing his “status” to the watchful Brittannian media. You can definitely hear the doubts coming out of them as soon as he was surrounded. And even though his elite skills is shown off and he survived the attack, the media shunned him even more for letting the Black Knights go, thus the racial tension shows up again. Luckily though, Princess Euphemia finally chooses to stand, and announces Suzaku to be her Knight.
What was witnessed is that Suzaku and the Japanese can fight equally as their Brittannian counterparts. But what keeps them seperated is their sense of Nationalism and Pride. How far will it go? Is one side REALLY superior towards the other? Nope. One individual can be easily pressured into caving into the mainstream society’s beliefs. It REALLY does take a strong will to fight that. Some may even say it’s impossible to fight it, but I definitely don’t believe so.
Hell, you can even agree to what Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw says: “Patriotism is for twats.”
(Sidenote: I mean no offense or harm to anyone who has lost a loved one during times of war, but there are many reasons as to why conflict starts. I am just pondering at one of them.)
(Off-topic: Moribito aired on Adult Swim tonight. It looks to be a really sweet anime! Can’t wait to continue watching!)
Meet The Sandvich! August 19, 2008
Posted by Psi in Video games.Tags: Heavy, Meet the Team, Sandvich, Sandwich, Team Fortress 2, Valve
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*crack* “You call that breaking my spine? You Red Team ladies wouldn’t know how to break a spine if-” *crack* “AHHHHH!!!!! MY SPINE!!!!!” *Girly scream*
…I’m just in laughing-induced tears right now…good job Valve…good job… ^^
Being Left 4 Dead… July 16, 2008
Posted by Psi in Horror, Video games.Tags: Co-Op, L4D, Left 4 Dead, Survival Horror, Video games
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There’s a lot of good games coming out in the Fall that I want, and it’s pretty much hard for me to choose just one. Fallout 3 looks to be awesome for your post-apocalyptic survival needs, Rock Band 2 is awesome to sharpen your drumming skills, and I still need to pickup The World Ends With You and Trauma Center: Under The Knife 2 for the DS. >.>; Regardless though, there are a few standouts that I will be getting for certain. This is one of them.
Left 4 Dead (Release Date: 11/18/2008 )
(A general description of the game.)
(This is Part 1 of a 3 part Walkthrough.)
What I feel that’s lacking in today’s online Multiplayer games is real co-op. Sure, there are two teams that go against each other and you do work with them at times, but probably most of the time people go out teabagging corpses while doing their own thing, with killing the other team the only goal in common with each other. And unless you have a dedicated clan or guild, communication with each other is probably ignored.
With Left 4 Dead, you HAVE to work with your teammates. You play as one of four survivors in the middle of a viral outbreak. The good news is that you are one of the few who are immune to the virus. The bad news is the rest of the population is not. The result: 28 Days Later-styled Infected beating/punching/kicking the hell outta you when they find you. If you seen any Horror movies (i.e. Dawn of the Dead remake or 28 Days/28 Weeks Later), you know that there are certain rules for surviving. One of them is keep with your friends AT ALL TIME; With L4D, if you do break that rule, and attempt to go Rambo by yourself, just like in the movies you will be the first do go down swiftly. As pretty much every Infected (around 30+) will maul you.
Thanks to what Valve calls the “AI Director”, expect reruns of the same “Scenarios” (or “movies” as is more recently called) to play out differently then the last. In other words, if you expect the Infected that ambushed you that other day to be in the same area, think again. The Director randomly places the Hordes of Infected each and every time, so expect to be on your guard almost all the time (aside from being inside Safe houses).
What the AI Director also does is individually check each Survivor’s condition and how they play, and react accordingly. Your team not doing well? The Director will back-off any Infected, spawning only few hordes and more health supplies to get you back in fighting condition. Doing too good? Then expect the Director to give you a good challenge with less health supplies and more hordes of Infected.
The game also keeps track of stats of how you do. Aside from the normal affair of who killed the most Infected, there are also a Achievement system. The game awards you for doing good things like helping your fellow ‘mate up or giving them your medkit when you’re in need of one. At the same time, it keeps track of the bad things you do to your teammates, ala Friendly Fire, or being a complete idiot. These show on your profile when you enter a game in the lobby before it starts. So in turn, if you see this guy’s got a habit of hogging all the Medkits and then shooting the survivors for the hell of it, the teammates can kick him/her out of the group before the game. Same rules apply during the game.
When a Survivor goes down, they aren’t dead immediately . Rather, a 3-Strike rule is applied. The first two times, you are “knocked” down and you can’t move. At this time your pistol is your only weapon available and you can shoot Infected that are trying to stomp you to death. Watch it though, since you’re in a “bleeding” state. Your health goes down until one of your teammates helps you back up, in which then you’re fine, if not a Medkit can help. If your ‘mates can’t get to you in time or if the Infected continually whails you, you’re out regardless of the 3-Strike rule. If you get knocked down a 3rd time, you’re pretty much dead.
While dead, you can spectate the three other survivors as they worm their way to a safehouse. On their way though, they can come across closets in which you and any other dead ‘mate can respawn and get back into the game. If not, then any dead ‘mates will respawn in the safehouse if one Survivor makes it in. Safe houses are pretty much what the name is. Inside is ammo and medkits for you and your ‘mates to stock up on for the next quarantined area.
Survivor weapons, while not many, is enough to fend off the Infected. ‘Sides, the chances of finding a Rocket Launcher or a Machine Gun is pretty much rare if an outbreak was to happen in real-life. >.>;
- Colt M1911: Your standard pistol that you start out with. You can find others throughout the area, in which you can dual-wield them. Although it has infinite ammo, don’t expect this to have the same punch as any other weapon. Only used as a last result.
- Tier 1 Weapons
- Uzi: Automatic Submachine gun. 50-Round Clip. Good for clearing Infected at medium range.
- Pump-action Shotgun: Good for close-range. Is able to knock down a group of Infected due to its spread shot.
- Molotov Cocktail: Burns the Infected to a nice crisp. Careful though, as the fire can spread, damaging you and/or your ‘mates too.
- Tier 2 Weapons
- M-16 Rifle: Automatic Assault Rifle. Good at medium range, and has more power than the Uzi.
- Auto Shotgun: With a higher rate of fire and more power than its Pump-action cousin, this is perfect for close encounters.
- Ruger Mini-14 Sniper Rifle: A Semi-Automatic Sniper Rifle perfect for long-range combat against the boss Infected like the Tank.
- Pipe-bomb: A rugged looking bomb with a sound-emitter attached to it. When thrown, it emits sounds that attracts nearby Infected to attack it, and then explodes, taking them with it.
- Melee Attack: Each weapon has a melee “push” attack that shoves the Infected away from you when you get surrounded. This in turn makes them fall which gives you enough time to shoot them, or get some distance away from them.
Speaking of the Infected, there are 5 types of “Special” or “Boss” Infected that will test your teamwork:
- The Boomer: This guy is pretty hard to miss. Being humongously bloated and full of methane, shoot him and he will explode, and probably damage you if you’re in the vicinity. Also, if he manages to “vomit” on you, present and oncoming hordes of Infected will target you AND ONLY you. Give a heads-up to your teammates when this happens.
- The Hunter: Probably a person who practiced Parkour, was a ninja, or both in his former life, this now agile Infected is aptly named for his ability to jump at great heights. This, in turn gives the ability for him to pounce at you, and it isn’t pretty. Once he does, you’re down while he scratch and punch the hell outta you until one of your ‘mates melees or shoots him off of you. If not, you’re a goner.
- The Smoker: With a malformed, bubbly face, this Infected has a long whip-like tongue that can strangle and drag you away from your ‘mates. When this happens, your health will go down whilst tied up, while any nearby Infected will take potshots at you. The Smoker can also release smoke, in which he can distract you, or more likely, impair your view when you’re in it.
- The Tank: Now if you played any MMO in the past few years, you probably already got this one. If not, imagine what happens if The Hulk got zombified. This guy is one of the more dangerous types of Infected; with a ton of health, and the ability to throw large objects (i.e. cars or large blocks of concrete) at you, coordinated teamfire on this one is a MUST.
- The Witch: The most dangerous of them all. Mainly appearing as a melancholy female Infected w/ white hair, she will be sitting down on the floor, weeping. She won’t harm you if you don’t manage to piss her off. That means don’t fire your gun near her vicinity, don’t shine your flashlight at her, and don’t even go near her. If someone accidentally does she will calmly get up…and TEAR SAID PERSON TO SHREDS. She can knock out a survivor in one hit, has the fast agility of the Hunter, and the Health of the Tank.
The layout of the game is that there are four “movies”, each with five “maps”. In each of these maps, the Survivors are going from Safe House to Safe House, while defending themselves by the Infected in between their journey. Some of these maps contain what is called “Crescendo” moments; in which the Survivors have a mini-standoff with the assaulting Infected while the path to the next area is being unblocked (an elevator, for instance). At the end of each movie, a final standoff between the Infected and the Survivors ensues.
A good example: The Survivors, after fighting horde upon horde of blood-thirsty Infected finally makes to the top of the Hospital Rooftop. One of the Survivors will have to signal a nearby news helicopter to land and rescue them, while the rest setup defenses (Gasoline traps, Propane tanks, Gatling Gun Emplacements, etc.) for the impending final assault of the Infected. What’s different in comparison to the Crescendo moments, is that the Infected are more ruthless and near limitless, and the Boss Infected will also try to rain hellfire on you while you holdout for the Helicopter to come get you. This in turn, tests you fully of your communication and cooperation with your ‘mates. Also, there are no comebacks for the Survivors at this point. It’s do or die.
If you only have two of your friends, or if anyone leaves the group, then the AI will take over that Survivor(s), allowing you to continue your journey to escape.
Coming out for the PC and the 360 (which supports Two-player Splitscreen!), this game just cannot come out any sooner! This is perfect for training against the Impending Zombie Apocalypse!
If anyone wants to team-up with me, I’ll be getting both versions, although I will be on the PC Version more. My ID’s are on the right sidebar. ^^
(Sidenote…How come all the Biological/Paranormal Disasters happen around September? The Raccoon City Incident being a good example…oh well!
“Meet The Sniper” Trailer June 17, 2008
Posted by Psi in Video games.Tags: Team Fortress 2, TF2
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“Dad, Dad I’m a…ye…not a Crazed Gunman, Dad, I’m an Assassin. ‘What
the difference be?’, and one is a job, and the other’s mental sickness!”
Ya know…I think I should take Sniping as a healthy career choice!
Persona 4 Intro (Cinematic) May 9, 2008
Posted by Psi in Anime, RPG, Video games.Tags: Atlus, Persona, Persona 4, Shin Megami Tensei
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I loved Persona 3’s Intro when I first popped in my copy. The song is catchy, and the Animation itself is quite interesting and awesome. Granted, I still haven’t beaten the game yet (Blame it on Siren and MGS: The Twin Snakes which I just beaten (Hooray!).), and with me planning on getting P3: FES (The “Expansion Pack” of Persona 3), there is no doubt I’ll be getting this also.